You’re probably talking too much in client meetings.

Good morning,

Have you ever been talking with someone just to have them dominate the conversation? Turns out they were more talking at you. Yet, many  of us— including myself— have been guilty of doing exactly this in client/stakeholder meetings. With the first week of Q2 comes introductory discovery calls. Today we’re talking about doing more by saying less. Let’s dive in.

I remember early in my career feeling that the best way to prove I was a capable seller was to contribute to a conversation with my stakeholders. While it’s true that making thoughtful contributions can be valuable, I took the very junior approach of talking too much to “prove I knew what was going on.” Instead of asking more intriguing questions, I talked about my take on the subject. I was more focused on puffing up my chest and showing I was smart than creating space for a fruitful two-way conversation. For me it was both an insecurity of my tenure and a discomfort of silence. 

I’ve boiled down what I believe to be the three major categories breaking down why people talk too much in stakeholder meetings: 

They’re insecure

  • They’re nervous or anxious

  • They’re lacking self confidence

  • They’re uncomfortable with silence and feel the need to fill in the gaps

They’re unprepared

  • They don’t have a clearly defined sales process

  • They’re just answering what the buyer asks them, falling somewhere between tech support and a waiter taking orders

  • They aren’t asking meaningful enough questions

  • They don’t have a clearly defined meeting agenda / they didn’t prepare enough 

  • They allow client questions to throw them off and end up rambling in their responses

They’re self-absorbed

  • They think what they have to say is more important than what the client has to say

  • They worked really hard on their presentation and feel the need to get through all of their content

The first step to talking less is auditing your talking-to-listening ratio. It starts with awareness and progresses with practice. Fortunately there are tools that help for exactly this (like Gong or Google Meet chrome extensions). 

When a seller talks too much in any meeting, they dramatically increase the chance their stakeholder tunes them out. Overly talkative sellers inhibit themselves from being truly consultative, which is a disservice to their stakeholders. Sellers talking less means their client is either talking more and providing more valuable context, or the meeting ends a bit early, giving everyone back their valuable time.

Three final tips:

  1. Ask more open ended questions starting with “what” or “how.” “Why” can be perceived as accusatory. Note the difference between the two:

    - “Why did you do that?”

    - “What were the factors that led to this decision?”

  2. Say “tell me more” when you want your client to continue speaking or to dive deeper into their thought process.

  3. When you ask a client a question, let them answer. Don’t follow your question with another question or provide thoughts on the question you just asked.

Don’t talk your way out of a sale. Recognize why you might talk too much, and reduce the amount you’re talking— especially in early discovery conversations.

68% of buyers are highly influenced by sellers who listen well, but buyers report that only 26% of sellers are effective listeners (source). This quite literally means you’ll influence buyers (and therefore sell more) by speaking less and listening more.

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